Stained, looking at my hands
I talk with these lines
It's not the answer
I'm crying and now I know
Looking the sky
I search for an answer
So free, free to be
I'm not another liar
I just want to be myself...myself
And now the beat inside of me
Is a sort of a cold breeze and I've
Never any feeling inside
Around me...
I Bring my body
Carry it into another world
I know I live...but like a stone I'm falling down
Damned, looking into the sky
I can feel this rain
Right now it's falling on me
Fly, I just want to fly
Life is all mine
Some days I cry alone,
But I know I'm not the only one
I see that another day is gone
I don't want to die...
Please be here when I arrive, don't die...please
And now the beat inside of me
Is a sort of a cold breeze and I've
Never any feeling inside
Around me...
I Bring my body
Carry it into another world
I know I live...but like a stone I'm falling down
Falling by Lacuna Coil
…
Empty. As a cup. No water
Just air. No oxygen.
Only a hole.
Not in my head.
Nor in my soul.
Non existant.
Used.
I feel so used.
I feel so lost.
I NEED TO FREE MYSELF!
…
Recent happenings:
- Ferry is behaving like an asshole. He isn’t able to talk to me or to Julia. He treats us as if we would not exist.
- My mother found photos of me in the household rubbish that were cut. No one at home knows who cutted the photos. I’m already thinking, that I do sleepwalk…
- I found out in therapy, that I’ve been used my whole life and that I only look for people that use me.
- I had a car crash… once again.
- I’m smoking more than I should. At least it’s smoking… not something else, more selfdestructive.
- I realized (once again… hell! I’m realizing it like every FUCKING day of my life) that the only person I would ever be able to love is someone I don’t want to hurt anymore. But still I cannot forget her.
...
The picture of this post is very old. But it expresses exactly what I'm feeling at the moment.
Somedays the weather is not as clear. Yet we cannot by any means let ourselves drown--
ReplyDeleteYou fight boy. We'll be here to cheer you when you succeeed and to support you when you fail :)
oh love life sometimes sucks. i mean really fucking sucks! but you know what you say to me? "the sun will come out, tomorrow"
ReplyDeletebetter days will come.
hum, i think i didnt know you smoke oO
hum i think we need to talk.
dont worry.. i wont be mean
*knuuuuud*
ooh i forgot.. i love this song, ireally miss it! have to found the albums when i get back ;)
ReplyDeleteIch würde unter den jetzigen Umständen hier eigentlich eher nichts posten, dass dieser Post jedoch genau das Gegenteil von meinem aktuellen Post darstellt, finde ich sehr erstaunlich, aber auch sehr bezeichnend dafür, dass wir an unterschiedlichen Lebenspunkten sind und insgesamt eine merkwürdige Distanz herrscht.
ReplyDeleteGruß,
Adriano
Ps: fasse diesen comment nicht als schräg auf. hab dir schon mal geschrieben: ich hasse dich nicht, sondern mag dich eigentlich.